Young ambassador – Chama Musoka, Zambia

Chama Musoka at home. © 2004 Gideon Mendel for International HIV/AIDS Alliance

CHAMA MUSOKA, aged 26, was diagnosed with HIV in 1999. He is the co-ordinator for the outreach programme of Kara Counselling and Training Trust, Lusaka, Zambia, which provides counselling and support for people living with HIV/AIDS. He is also Vice President of the Young Ambassadors of Positive Living, a Commonwealth peer education programme.

It all began when I was at university in 1997. I got into a kind of life where I spent a lot of time in the bars and devoted little time to my studies, and that led to me failing my first year. Before that I was a model scholar, I was even an altar boy in the church.

In 1998, I was living with my sister, as my mum had passed away some years before. I was loafing, and then I got tuberculosis (TB) and was in treatment for about a year. At the end of the treatment I realised it was important to take an HIV test, so I went to the clinic and found that I was HIV positive. But you know, the surprising thing was that although I had suspicions because of my past life, I just could not believe it. HIV was such a big thing for me. So I just denied the results. Then a second test was done and the same results came back.

My sister noticed my state of confusion and asked me what was going on in my life. She said, "You are not the same Chama." I didn’t say anything. My sister was the first-born and she loved me so much. But it happened one day that she was washing my clothes and she discovered this slip from Kara Counselling, which said I had been for an HIV test. She asked me directly about the result. I thought for a while and I decided, "She is just like a mother to me, let me tell her."

When I told her the results were positive she just went off to our neighbour’s house without speaking. And that was the start of my troubles. You know, she loved me before, but she changed into this woman who was a stranger to me. And then she actually sent me out of the place. She also sent a message around to the relatives so there was no one that was happy to have me to stay. So I went to stay with friends. I just moved from one house to another.

Eventually, I went back to my counsellor and he told me about Hope House, which is the oldest safe place for people with the virus in Zambia. So I was recruited and began doing a tailoring course there. You know, from studying civil engineering to tailoring – it was quite a big change. When I completed the course, the manager asked me to join this team of outreach workers at Kara Counselling. So in April 2000, I joined the team, and I have been involved in the fight against the spread of HIV/AIDS ever since.

Basically, we use our own life stories to change other people’s views and behaviour. But we also do a lot of general educational work. We talk about human rights issues and clear up the many misconceptions that people have about HIV. It is for the negative and the positive ones. We talk about the kind of lifestyle you need to have to avoid catching the virus – or if you are already positive, to delay the onset of AIDS. This is very important.

At first I observed other people giving these talks, and then it was time for me to deliver the goods myself. It was such a good experience. I was very much composed. These stories that I tell go a long way in changing people's lives. I really believe in the saying: ‘A problem shared is a problem half-solved’.

You know the ABC prevention strategy: Abstinence, Be faithful or use a Condom. Well, we are not selective, we just promote every aspect of prevention and people must choose which is appropriate for them. You will find that there are these youth groups promoting abstinence and condemning condom use. But, you know, the messages they preach are often contrary to their own behaviour. There is this gulf between behaviour and knowledge. Today, everyone knows about HIV, but it’s just as if they can’t connect what they know to their behaviour. It’s like this medical doctor who is a secret smoker… So our stories are there to bridge that gulf; our stories are the solution.

Some people have never seen a person with the virus – or they don’t know that they have. They may see posters, read stories, listen to radio and TV, without looking at this human face living with the virus. Every time they are shocked. They ask: "Is it true?" We say: "You can’t tell by looking. Even that partner of yours could be infected, you never know." We say, "If you indulge in sex, ensure that you go for VCT [Voluntary Counselling and Testing]. Because you are the window of hope for this Zambia. The future of Zambia rests on you and you must protect yourself from this virus."

We are winning this one – oh yes, we are winning.

There is something else I would like to tell you about my life. A short time after my sister and her husband sent me from the house, my brother-in-law got sick. He died within six months. Just after that, I met my sister at the funeral of a cousin. We chatted and we reconciled, even though she never referred to the past or to her husband’s illness.

Some time later she got TB and then she died in the village, leaving behind three orphans. Memory, who is now 11 years old, lives with my wife and me today.

My sister never spoke about her illness. She kept it to herself, but of course, she must have suspected something because it was the same kind of illness that the husband suffered from as well.

I have passed through a very hard time for me to be where I am today. If it hadn’t been for my introduction to Hope House, where I met these fellow HIV-positive people, I would definitely be dead by now. Yes, I can assure you. There, I got a lot of emotional support, which is very important. Before being introduced to this place, I thought I was the only one with HIV. I wondered "Why has it happened to me that I am the only one. Is it a punishment from God?" But when I was introduced to this place, I found 40 people HIV positive. I even found a childhood friend – can you imagine, a childhood friend? That was great; he gave me a lot of support.

And I learned about HIV/AIDS, how to eat well and avoid infections, about issues of early treatment. I also learned how important it is to disclose. That aspect is part and parcel of positive living. But I have also had a lot of negative experiences with disclosure – old school friends who refuse to shake my hand, people who refuse to drink with me.

Stigma is still there - it is still roaring like thunder in Zambia.